Perfection is one of those abstract concepts that look good in theory, but in reality, not so much. The need to strive for everything to be perfect, as per your subjective interpretation, can be very exhausting indeed.
People who are perfectionists then want everything to follow a certain order, and when it does not, it takes a toll on them. Perfectionism also demands a lot of control, which is not always possible.
It also takes toll on relationships and other facets of life. When you strive to do everything perfectly, not only then you have to put in a lot of extra effort, which often leads to physical exhaustion then. Perfectionism also makes one overtly critical of themselves.
There is also emotional trauma that perfectionism brings. It leads to a lot of anxiety and stress, alongside sleep problems. It can also lead to other psychological problems, that require help from a mental health expert at Reliance Hospital.
Traits of perfectionist
You might want something to go your way, but that does not necessarily make you a perfectionist. There are specific elements that are part of this trait, which include:
Criticism
Since perfectionists want things to be absolutely right, they will not settle for anything less than what they want. They then are overtly critical. Ignoring all that is good, they then fixate on the flaws that they manage to find.
Not only do they spot problems with other people’s work, but they are just as or even more so critical of themselves.
Don’t react well to criticisms
Since perfectionists only put out things that they feel they have perfected, hence, when they get criticized, they tend to react badly to it. They become defensive of their craft and work, instead of using constructive criticism to grow as a result.
It’s all or nothing
People who are perfectionists tend to think in binary; either you are perfect in your execution or are not good enough. You might have done a good enough job, but due to your perfectionism trait, you do not appreciate all that you have achieved.
High standards
It is good to expect good, but perfectionists have unrealistically high standards. It can then be very hard to please them. This trait also makes them miserable as well; it causes strained relationships as well.
Moreover, their high standards also cause them to set a lofty goal, to reach which, they invest too much of their energies in trying to achieve.
Low self-esteem
Perfectionists also tend to suffer from low self-esteem. Naturally, when you constantly berate yourself for any mistake you might have made, it chips away at your self-confidence.
Furthermore, perfectionism also represents the lack of ability in your own self, and thus you overcompensate by working so hard to be perfect, as if the current version of yourself is not good enough.
This also then promotes the feelings of inadequacy and sadness then.
Only the results matter
For some people, it is the journey that counts, the learning you have done, the experience gained. However, for perfectionists, all that matters is the result, which if not is what they wanted, they do not care.
Moreover, since the result is what matters to them, they miss out on experiencing the journey then.
Procrastination
Another sign of perfectionism is procrastination. Since they want everything to go perfectly, therefore, they have a fear of failure. This fear then prevents them from starting off their projects, as they cannot process failure like other people.
Depression
Naturally, not every time you can have things on your own terms. Matters run amok, things get out of control, luck counts. Hence, even if you try your hardest, you might not always get what you wanted.
However, with perfectionists, these disappointments can take a great mental toll, can may even morph into depression, meriting a visit to the Psychiatrist in Islamabad.
