Being in a toxic relationship can be extremely hard on mental health.
One form of an abusive relationship is when you are stuck with a partner who is
a narcissist.
People having a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have a
heightened sense of self. They believe themselves to be superior to others, and
therefore have no qualms in putting people down. Moreover, narcissists are also
extremely manipulative as well.
Narcissists also are very critical. They shift the blame on their
partner and refuse to cater to the wellbeing of their partner. They also do not
emotionally support their partner. On the contrary, they control the emotional
response of their partner.
The impact of narcissistic abuse is contingent on where the partner
fell on the spectrum of NPD, the duration of the relationship, and the extent
of damage endured. Most people do require the assistance of a therapist, whom
they can consult via oladoc.com, to recover.
Recovering from an abusive
relationship
Even though you may know that you were not to be blamed, however, the
dire impact of the toxic may continue still. Here are some things that will
help you recover:
Acknowledge the abuse
Denial will not help you get better. In order to start your healing
journey, it is important for you to acknowledge the abuse. It is pertinent that
you realize their narcissism has nothing to do with you.
Know that it was a form of abuse that you took, and not lack of
chemistry, or something equally innocuous. Unless you understand the problem,
how will you serve the correct solution?
Be nicer to yourself
Narcissists are already great at picking at your confidence and making
you doubt yourself. So, understandably, you are coming from a place of low
self-confidence. However, you must be actively kinder to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are in no way responsible for the abuse
sustained. A narcissist alone is responsible for their own actions. Mantras
that can help include I deserve love, I am strong etc.
Get support
Talking with others can also help you in recovering from abuse from a
narcissist. You can talk to your friends and family who can offer perspective,
give you comfort, and aid in your process of healing.
However, be careful about the person whom you decide to trust. Some
narcissists can be charming, so mutual friends might not acknowledge your pain,
but instead, deter your healing by shifting the blame on you. Hence, be careful
in your choice of confidant.
Memories will stay
Your memories will stay and might even haunt you. Narcissists can be
charismatic, so some good times with them may ring well. However, that reality
does not hold for most cases. After breaking up, your brain might dredge up
these memories.
Rather than becoming unsure of your decision because of them, know it
is okay to acknowledge and own the good moments. Take them for what they were;
your past, and let them not affect your future.
Undo the damage
Narcissists are very critical and thus may lead you to believe your choice is bad, you are ugly, and similar impolite notions. It is time to reclaim yourself; the narcissist does not deserve any control over your life.
Acknowledge the emotional onslaught
In the aftermath of a breakup, you are already emotionally vulnerable.
The situation is much worse when it is an abusive relationship, as the baggage
is greater. Therefore, be prepared for the onslaught of emotions that is bound
to come.
You should be prepared to feel grief, loss, shock, sadness, and even
depression. You might also feel ashamed for falling trap to such a person and a
relationship.
Depending on how bad the relationship was, you might also be suffering
from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as well. Navigating these emotions
might be an extremely hard thing, and you might need the help of an expert like
a Psychiatrist in Islamabad then.
